Hi, I’m Nechama Robinson, aka the Couples Decoder.

What makes it so hard to get along with people we love is a question I have wondered about for as long as I can remember. Over the years I’ve taken an interest in personality tests, desperate for clues that would help me understand why love so often turns to war.

One of my first was the Riso Hudson Enneagram Indicator. You might know it or maybe you’ve taken it. Then I took the Myer’s Briggs. Results were always a mix, a hit here and a miss there. For fun, I even consulted my astrology chart, trying to decipher the wisdom of the zodiac. It all just left me more confused than ever.

Even the prescribed techniques and methods from my graduate counseling degree never felt satisfying. I knew that going out on my own to find answers would be the first step in taking personality discovery to the next level. I found myself in conversations with people on the street, asking personal questions over celery stalks in my cart at trader joe’s, interrupting people at the gas station, discussing politics and philosophy with Uber drivers, and finding common ground with overseas customer service agents.

My questions for these willing co-conspirators ranged from “what music is that?” to “when was your last vacation?” “Do you vote?” “What are you studying?” “Do you get to spend time with your family?” “What do you like to cook?” and a myriad of other questions that opened a window to who this stranger was and why. Spontaneous questions born of organic conversation helped define my algorithm for personality types and make sense of how they move us and shape our relationships.

Over the period of a decade, every discussion I had shed more light on how the dots of personality connect. Each conversation gave me an opportunity to test the limits of my latest hypothesis. Over time, I began to notice predictive patterns that offered clues to interconnected personality building blocks. These patterns helped me not only piece together what I knew about other people, but also learn more about myself.

As the patterns emerged, what I discovered turned the industry standard personality assessments on their proverbial heads. I realized that individual personality relies on variables that are forever in motion, making it nearly impossible to define within traditional frameworks.

Then I began to see how personality could explain not only what we have in common with other people, but also what makes us unique. And finally, I discovered that I was an Ideas Changemaker personality. But what the heck is that? And what does it mean to you?

The mission of this website is to answer those questions by opening the door to a new and empowering way of exploring your favorite reality TV couples’ personalities and relationships.

Welcome!