Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between two people whose Personality Triads have the Social Changemaker Core. This Triad includes the Social Changemaker Core, and Social Explorer and Social Connector Bodyguards.
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Changemaker Triad which includes a Social Explorer Bodyguard.
Both Sam and Alex have the Social Changemaker Personality Triad which includes the Social Explorer Bodyguard. Because neither one has the Explorer as a Core Personality, both of them are willing to let social distractions poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship.
How close they feel during the honeymoon phase depends on how active their Social Explorer Bodyguards are. The Social Explorer Bodyguard in each of their Personality Triads anchors love in the feeling of having someone by their side, and the mutual choice to share the dance of life with one another.
The fact that love means the same thing to both of them makes the honeymoon phase feel perfect as long as they both are embracing the experience of falling in love. If they do embrace love in this early stage of their relationship, it creates a foundation of closeness they can revisit as the relationship progresses, any time they feel at risk of drifting apart.
If their Social Explorer Bodyguards are not developed or active, the honeymoon phase of their relationship is likely to fall flat, with each of them eager to get back to the communities they enjoy supporting.
Regardless of what happens throughout the honeymoon phase, once it is over, they are each likely to direct their energies back out into the world by supporting the causes they care about most.
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Changemaker Triad which includes a Social Changemaker Core.
The Social Changemaker Core, shared by Sam and Alex, is naturally compassionate and supportive while also expecting the other person to have the same values.
In this Personality Pair, each partner might expect the other to change how they spend time or money (or other resources) to make room for causes they personally feel are more important. The more naturally aligned Sam’s and Alex’s personal values, the more likely this couple is to sustain a satisfying, long-term relationship.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards. So, when the Changemaker IS our Core personality and we are in a relationship, we can’t just ignore aspects of the relationship we wish were different.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Changemaker Triad which includes a Social Changemaker Core.
Because Sam and Alex both have the Social Changemaker element as their Core Personalities, neither one is likely to ignore something that upsets them. However, of all the Personality types on the Couples Personality Index, the Social Changemaker is the most naturally selfless and concerned with the needs of others.
If either Sam or Alex is not happy, their Social Changemaker Core will tend to have the outlook that giving is the best way to make things better. They are both likely to try thoughtfully communicating about things that bother them until they get resolved. As two naturally kind and considerate people, Sam and Alex are always careful to communicate with compassion and respect.
It is possible, however, that the spark will fade if they continue being ‘too nice’ to each other at the expense of being completely honest about something that does really bother them.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Changemaker Triad which includes a Social Connector Bodyguard.
Because the Connector elements in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads are Bodyguards, and not their Core Personalities, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind for either one of them.
To what extent Sam and Alex each expect their relationship to help them feel at home in the world depends on how active their Connector Bodyguards are. As an active Bodyguard, the Connector element can make it a priority to seek relationships that support our connection with everything. A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels under pressure to plant roots or take up space in the world.
When Sam’s or Alex’s Social Connector Bodyguard is active, they look to the relationship for support of the social image and status side of their identity.
In this Personality Pair, Sam and Alex share parallel perspectives on the Connector role that their relationship plays in their lives. This is one more way that their values align, empowering the relationship to meet both of their needs. ©
