Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.

 

This page takes a closer look at the relationship between a person whose Personality Triad has a Social Changemaker Core, and person whose Personality Triad has a Social Connector Core. The Social Changemaker Triad includes a Social Explorer Bodyguard and a Social Connector Bodyguard. The Social Connector Triad includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard and an Ideas Explorer Bodyguard

 

For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.

 

Falling in love

We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Changemaker Triad which includes a Social Explorer Bodyguard. And Alex has the Social Connector Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Bodyguard.

 

Because the Explorer element in Sam’s and Alex’s Personality Triads are different, they experience love differently. And because neither one has the Explorer as a Core Personality, both of them are willing to let distractions poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship. For this Personality Pair, the emotional experience of love is not likely to feel as consistent or as important as the social fabric of their life together.

 

Because the Explorer element in Sam’s Personality Triad is the Social Explorer, their experience of love is anchored in the feeling of having someone by their side and in the mutual choice to share the dance of life with one another. Because the Explorer element in Alex’s Personality Triad is the Ideas Explorer, their love is anchored in the anticipation of having their deepest feelings heard and supported.

 

What draws this Personality Pair together probably has more to do with how the relationship supports their individual lives than with a feeling that they are emotionally destined to be together.

 

Compatibility

Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Changemaker Triad which includes a Social Changemaker Core. And Alex has the Social Connector Triad which includes a Social Connector Core.

 

Sam’s Social Changemaker Core is naturally compassionate and supportive, while also expecting the other person to share some of their values. Sam might expect Alex to change some aspect of themselves for the greater good of the relationship or their community. Alex’s Social Connector Core is focused on the success of the relationship. Alex might expect Sam to change some aspect of themselves to level up the private aspects of the relationship or the public perception of it.

 

For this Personality Pair, the expectations they have of one another contribute to the overall social impact and success of their life as a couple. The sustainability of their relationship is anchored in the potential for lifelong reciprocity that attracted them in the first place.

 

Conflict

Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards. So, when the Changemaker IS our Core personality and we are in a relationship, we can’t just ignore aspects of the relationship we wish were different.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Changemaker Triad which includes a Social Changemaker Core. And Alex has the Social Connector Triad which includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard.

 

The Changemaker element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Personality Triads is the Social Changemaker. Of all the Personality types on the Couples Personality Index, the Social Changemaker is the most naturally selfless and concerned with the needs of others.

 

Although the Social Changemaker element is the Core Personality in Sam’s Personality Triad, and a Bodyguard in Alex’s Personality Triad, it provides each of them with the worldview that ‘the carrot is better than the stick.’ Both Sam and Alex would rather focus on results and exercise diplomacy than let any disappointment or frustration get the better of them.

 

If tensions do escalate for this Personality Pair, they are very careful to keep it behind closed doors.

 

Fitting into the World

The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Changemaker Triad which includes a Social Connector Bodyguard. And Alex has the Social Connector Triad which includes a Social Connector Core.

 

Sam’s Social Changemaker Triad and Alex’s Social Connector Triad both have the Social Connector element. The difference is that in Alex’s Social Connector Triad, it is the Core Personality; whereas in Sam’s Social Changemaker Triad, it is a Bodyguard.

 

Because the Social Connector in Alex’s Triad is their Core Personality, it is very important to them that the relationship acts as a bridge between who they are and how the world perceives them.

 

Because the Social Connector element in Sam’s Triad is a Bodyguard, and not their Core Personality, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind.

 

But when Sam’s Connector Bodyguard is active, Sam expects the relationship to support their connection with the life around them in the same way that Alex does. A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels compelled to plant roots or take up space in the world.

 

As a Core Personality or an active Bodyguard, the Social Connector element wants the relationship to support the social image and status side of their identity.

 

Having the same Connector element means that Sam and Alex have parallel perspectives on the Connector role that their relationship plays in their lives, adding another layer to this couple’s shared values and outlook on life. ©