Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between two people whose Personality Triads have the Social Connector Core. This Triad includes the Social Changemaker and Ideas Explorer Bodyguards.
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Connector Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Bodyguard.
Because neither Sam nor Alex has the Explorer as a Core Personality, both of them are willing to let social distractions poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship.
How close they feel during the honeymoon phase depends on how active their Ideas Explorer Bodyguards are. The Ideas Explorer Bodyguard in each of their Personality Triads anchors love in the anticipation of having their deepest feelings heard and supported.
The fact that love means the same thing to both of them can make the honeymoon phase feel perfect as long as they are both embracing the experience of falling in love. If they do embrace love in this early stage of their relationship, it creates a foundation of closeness they can revisit as the relationship progresses, any time they feel at risk of drifting apart.
If their Ideas Explorer Bodyguards are not developed or active, the honeymoon phase of their relationship is likely to fall flat, with each of them eager to get back to pursuing success in their individual lives.
Regardless of what happens throughout the honeymoon phase, once it is over, they are each likely to direct their energies back out into the world by focusing on achieving their personal and professional life goals.
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Connector Triad which includes a Social Connector Core.
The Social Connector Core, shared by Sam and Alex, focuses on success. Each of them may expect the other to change their mindset or course of action, as part of their commitment to leveling up the private aspects of the relationship or the public perception of it. The greatest potential threat to their sense of compatibility is having opposing perspectives on what success looks like. If their views on success do not align, they are not likely to stay together very long.
Although neither Sam nor Alex is likely to make it obvious that they are impacted by any expectations their partner has of them to change what they do naturally, it can be difficult to avoid internalizing the feeling that they are not enough. Every time they take that hit, any feeling of compatibility that exists in the relationship also takes a hit.
For this Personality Pair, the expectations they have of one another mirror their compatibility as a couple.
If they share the same outlook on what it means to be successful, they are both likely to feel that they bring out the best in each other, and to have great potential as a couple. If they do not agree on what success means, they can lose the ability to grow together. In that case, their relationship is likely to quickly dissolve.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Connector Triad which includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard.
The Changemaker element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Personality Triads is the Social Changemaker. Of all the Personality types on the Couples Personality Index, the Social Changemaker is the most naturally selfless and concerned with the needs of others.
Although the Social Changemaker element is a Bodyguard in both of their Personality Triads, it provides each of them with the worldview that ‘the carrot is better than the stick.’ Both Sam and Alex would rather focus on results and exercise diplomacy than let any disappointment or frustration get the better of them.
If tensions do escalate for this Personality Pair, they are very careful to keep it behind closed doors.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Connector Triad which includes a Social Connector Core.
Because the Social Connector in the Triad shared by Sam and Alex is their Core Personality, it is very important to them that the relationship acts as a bridge between who they are and how the world perceives them.
Sam’s and Alex’s Social Connector Personalities look to the relationship for support of the social image and status side of their identity. In this Personality Pair, Sam and Alex share parallel perspectives on the Connector role that their relationship plays in their lives. However, for this couple, having the same needs is more likely to reinforce competitiveness than harmony.
As a Personality that thrives in the leadership role, the Social Connector is naturally competitive, albeit in a diplomatic way. Two Social Connector Personalities are generally not likely to be drawn to one another. The exception to that is if they are interested in moving through life as a power couple.
Unless their romance is reinforced by a desire to make their mark as a team, an unavoidable sense of competition is likely to prevent either of them from fulfilling the other’s Connector needs, derailing the relationship before it gets very far. ©
