Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between a person whose Personality Triad has an Ideas Explorer Core, and person whose Personality Triad has an Ideas Changemaker Core. The Ideas Explorer Triad includes a Social Connector Bodyguard and an Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard. The Ideas Changemaker Triad includes an Ideas Explorer Bodyguard and an Ideas Connector Bodyguard
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards. So when the Explorer IS our core personality and we are in a relationship, we just want to stay focused on the good feels of being in love. Having to deal with other aspects of the relationship can stress us out and make us want to pull away.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Core. And Alex has the Ideas Changemaker Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Bodyguard.
Because the Explorer element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Personality Triads is the Ideas Explorer, their feelings while they are falling in love naturally align. The fact that love means the same thing to both of them makes the honeymoon phase feel perfect as long as they both are embracing the experience of falling in love.
For both Sam and Alex, love is anchored in the anticipation of having their deepest feelings heard and supported.
Because the Ideas Explorer is Sam’s Core Personality, they want to stay fully present in the feeling of romance and connection as long as possible. Because the Ideas Explorer is not Alex’s Core Personality, they are willing to let distracting thoughts poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship.
How close this couple feels in the early stages of the relationship depends on how active Alex’s Ideas Explorer Bodyguard is. The fact that love means the same thing to both of them can make the honeymoon phase feel perfect as long as they are both embracing the experience of falling in love.
If they do embrace love in this early stage of their relationship, it creates a foundation of closeness they can revisit as the relationship progresses, any time they feel at risk of drifting apart.
If Alex’s Ideas Explorer Bodyguards is not developed or active, the honeymoon phase of their relationship is at risk of falling flat, leading both of them to wonder why they got together in the first place.
If they grow closer during the honeymoon phase, they are likely to stay emotionally connected. If the honeymoon phase feels underwhelming, they are likely to ‘fall out of love’ sooner rather than later.
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Core. And Alex has the Ideas Changemaker Triad which includes an Ideas Changemaker Core.
Sam’s Ideas Explorer Core prides itself on accepting and supporting their partner’s deepest feelings. But they might judge their partner for not wanting to stay immersed in those deep feelings, and expect them to work on changing themselves.
Alex’s Ideas Changemaker Core is inclined to look at life through a lens of analysis, judgement and critical thinking which can lead them to decide that Sam needs to change in some way.
When Sam feels that something is standing in the way of the couple’s emotional intimacy, they are likely to withdraw long enough to center their own feelings before broaching the subject with Alex.
When Alex is not happy with something in the relationship, they do not mince words, which is made harsher by the fact that they can be very resistant to changing themselves.
Although both the Ideas Explorer Core and the Ideas Changemaker Core are naturally introspective, the Ideas Explorer is more interested in emotional vulnerability; whereas the Ideas Changemaker is more interested in dialogue around thoughts and opinions. For this Personality Pair, emotional and intellectual compatibility are both important.
Sam’s Core Personality is one of Alex’s Bodyguards. And Alex’s Core Personality is one of Sam’s Bodyguards. If their Personality-overlap Bodyguards are not developed, the relationship is likely to fizzle out over time.
If Alex resists emotional vulnerability or if Sam has no interest in pursuing complex ideas, Sam might feel that Alex is not emotionally vulnerable enough. And Alex might feel that Sam is not intellectually engaging enough.
Although neither Sam nor Alex is likely to make it obvious that they are impacted by any expectations their partner has of them to change what they do naturally, it can be difficult to avoid internalizing the feeling that they are not enough. Every time they take that hit, any feeling of compatibility that exists in the relationship also takes a hit.
The compatibility of this Personality Pair is greatly influenced by how strong their Personality overlap is. In other words, the more developed Alex’s Ideas Explorer Bodyguard and Sam’s Ideas Changemaker bodyguard are, the more compatible this couple is likely to feel.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards. So, when the Changemaker IS our Core personality and we are in a relationship, we can’t just ignore aspects of the relationship we wish were different.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard. And Alex has the Ideas Changemaker Triad which includes an Ideas Changemaker Core.
The Changemaker element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads is the Ideas Changemaker. Although the Ideas Changemaker in Sam’s Triad is a Bodyguard, and not their Core Personality, it can be eager to assert itself. One of the most forceful personality types on the Couples Personality Index, it can come across as argumentative, and tends to show up in defense of the Ideas Explorer Core which is naturally more sensitive and introverted.
If Sam’s Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard and Alex’s Ideas Changemaker Core are triggered at the same time, the argument that ensues could bring down the house. In order for this relationship to be sustainable, it is important for Sam and Alex to recognize when one of them needs to vent negative feelings, and to make sure that the other person holds a calm space until those feelings dissipate.
For this Personality Pair, conflicts are heartfelt and intense. This couple loves hard, but can also fight hard. Whether or not this Personality Pair stays together in the long run depends on whether the scales of their relationship tip more in the direction of profound mutual empathy or emotional tug of war.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes a Social Connector Bodyguard. And Alex has the Ideas Changemaker Triad which includes an Ideas Connector Bodyguard.
Because the Connector element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads are Bodyguards, and not their Core Personality, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind for either one of them.
But when Sam’s or Alex’s Connector Bodyguard is active, they expect the relationship to support their connection with the life around them. As an active Bodyguard, the Connector element can make it a priority to seek relationships that support our connection with everything. A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels compelled to plant roots or take up space in the world.
Regardless of whose Connector Bodyguard is active, Sam and Alex approach fitting into the world very differently because Sam has the Social Connector in their Triad, and Alex has the Ideas Connector.
When active, Sam’s Social Connector Bodyguard wants the relationship to support the social image and status side of their identity. Because Sam’s Ideas Explorer Core Personality is naturally introverted, their Connector needs are likely to focus on specific circumstances or environments. For example, they may want the relationship to support the social image and status side of their identity as a creator in the art world.
Alex’s Ideas Changemaker Core has no interest or skill when it comes to social appearances. So Sam’s Connector needs are not likely to be met unless Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard is developed and active. Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard has a natural affinity for networking and navigating nuanced social circles.
But the more active Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard, the more it can feel to Sam like a Pandora’s Box of multiplying thoughts and feelings that brings chaos to the relationship. So if Sam’s Connector needs are active, Sam is likely to feel that Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard puts Sam in a double bind.
Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard looks to the relationship for support of the thoughts and feelings they have about their identity in the world. Sam’s Ideas Explorer Personality generally feels good about providing emotionally and psychologically therapeutic attention.
However, the unfiltered thought process of Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard can feel exhausting to Sam and cause both of them to feel frustrated.
The Connector dynamic in this partnership is apt to feel like a double edged sword, adding a layer of drama to this couple’s inherently deep love.
Two complex and intense Triads, the Ideas Explorer and Ideas Changemaker are more likely than not to experience moments of drama throughout their relationship. The more active Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard, the more intense the Connector dynamic, and the more frequent those moments are likely to be. ©
