Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between two people whose Personality Triads have the Ideas Changemaker Core. This Triad includes the Ideas Explorer and Ideas Connector Bodyguards.
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Changemaker Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Bodyguard.
Because neither Sam nor Alex has the Explorer as a Core Personality, both of them are willing to let distracting thoughts poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship. But having the same Explorer Bodyguard means that when they are focused on each other, their feelings of being in love naturally align.
The Ideas Explorer Bodyguard shared by Sam and Alex anchors love in the anticipation of having their deepest feelings heard and supported. How close this Personality Pair feels during the honeymoon phase depends on how active their Ideas Explorer Bodyguards are.
As long as they are both embracing the experience of falling in love, the fact that love means the same thing to both of them makes the honeymoon phase feel perfect. If they do embrace love in this early stage of their relationship, it creates a foundation of closeness they can revisit as the relationship progresses, any time they feel at risk of drifting apart.
If their Ideas Explorer Bodyguards are not developed or active, the honeymoon phase of their relationship is likely to fall flat, with each of them eager to get back to their own personal priorities and interests. Regardless of what happens throughout the honeymoon phase, once it is over, they are both likely to direct their energies back into the cerebral pursuits that define their individual lives.
If they grow closer during the honeymoon phase, they are likely to stay emotionally connected. If the honeymoon phase feels underwhelming, they are likely to ‘fall out of love’ sooner rather than later.
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Changemaker Triad which includes an Ideas Changemaker Core.
The Ideas Changemaker Core shared by Sam and Alex is inclined to look at life through a lens of analysis, judgement and critical thinking which can lead them to decide that their partner needs to change in some way.
If either Sam or Alex suspects that a thought they expressed is not being taken seriously, they do not mince words, which is made harsher by the fact that they can be very resistant to changing themselves.
Although the Ideas Changemaker Core can be introspective, it is more comfortable delving into thoughts and opinions than feelings and emotions. For this Personality Pair, mutual respect and appreciation of the other person’s intellectual process is extremely important.
Although neither Sam nor Alex is likely to make it obvious that they are impacted by any expectations their partner has of them to change what they do naturally, it can be difficult to avoid internalizing the feeling that they are not enough. Every time they take that hit, any feeling of compatibility that exists in the relationship also takes a hit.
The compatibility of this Personality Pair depends on how committed each of them is to work on flexibility and a willingness to put their own perspective aside long enough to hear the other person out. The more open both Sam and Alex are to lowering their defenses and stepping outside their comfort zone, the more compatible they are likely to feel.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards. So, when the Changemaker IS our Core personality and we are in a relationship, we can’t just ignore aspects of the relationship we wish were different.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Changemaker Triad which includes an Ideas Changemaker Core.
Because Sam and Alex both have the Ideas Changemaker element as their Core Personalities, neither one is likely to ignore something that upsets them. One of the most forceful personality types on the Couples Personality Index, the Ideas Changemaker Core shared by Sam and Alex tends to project an argumentative tone under any stressful circumstance.
When Sam and Alex are upset at the same time, the tension between them skyrockets. Any argument that ensues is likely to escalate into a screaming match. In order for this relationship to be sustainable, it is important that both Sam and Alex commit to holding a calm space when their partner needs to vent negative feelings, and to keep their cool until their partner’s feelings dissipate.
For this Personality Pair, conflicts feel like high-stakes debates. Whether or not this Personality Pair stays together in the long run depends on their commitment to putting the needs of the relationship above their egos.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Changemaker Triad which includes an Ideas Connector Bodyguard.
Because the Ideas Connector element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads are Bodyguards, and not their Core Personality, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind for either one of them. To what extent Sam and Alex expect their relationship to help them feel at home in the world depends on how active their Connector Bodyguards are.
As an active Bodyguard, the Connector element can make it a priority to seek relationships that support our connection with everything. A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels compelled to plant roots or take up space in the world.
When active, Sam’s and Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguards look to the relationship for support of the thoughts and feelings they have about their identity in the world. Having the same Connector Bodyguard means that Sam and Alex understand one another’s Connector needs. But it also puts those Connector needs in direct competition with one another.
The most obvious challenge with having two Ideas Connector Bodyguards is that neither one is likely to hold back their own thoughts and feelings long enough for the other person to feel heard. The Ideas Connector’s inherently unfiltered thought process is likely to feel exhausting and cause frustration on both sides.
For this Personality Pair, sharing Connector values is apt to feel like a double edged sword, adding another layer of drama to this couple’s temperamental love.
Doubling up on the fiery Ideas Changemaker Triad with its complex and intense Ideas Connector Bodyguard is guaranteed to fill Sam’s and Alex’s relationship with unrelenting drama until one or both of them move on. The twin energies of their Ideas Connector Bodyguards creates a highly charged Connector dynamic that is not likely to meet either of their expectations for the relationship. ©
