Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between two people whose Personality Triads have the Physical Explorer Core. This Triad includes the Physical Changemaker and Ideas Connector Bodyguards.
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards. So when the Explorer IS our core personality and we are in a relationship, we just want to stay focused on the good feels of being in love. Having to deal with other aspects of the relationship can stress us out and make us want to pull away.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Physical Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Core.
Having the Physical Explorer as their Core Personalities prompts both Sam and Alex to want to stay fully present in the feeling of romance and connection as long as possible. Because the Explorer element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Personality Triads is the Physical Explorer, their feelings while they are falling in love naturally align. The fact that love means the same thing to both of them makes the honeymoon phase feel perfect as long as they both are embracing the experience of falling in love.
For both Sam and Alex, love is anchored in their body.
The fact that love means the same thing to both of them makes the honeymoon phase feel perfect as long as they both are embracing the experience of falling in love. The way they embrace love in this early stage of their relationship creates a foundation of closeness they can revisit as the relationship progresses, any time they feel at risk of drifting apart.
A relationship between two Physical Explorers is likely to start out with a lot of chemistry, and then fizzle out over time as their attentions are caught by new, tantalizing relationships and highs. In order for this couple to stay in love, they need to keep pursuing new ways to keep their time together pleasurable.
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Physical Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Core.
Sam’s and Alex’s Physical Explorer Personalities are deeply connected to their body, and focused on how their body feels in each moment. The only expectations they are likely to have of one another center around not doing anything that gets in the way of their partner feeling good in their body.
However, as the exhilaration of their new relationship wears off, Sam and Alex may find themselves losing interest in one another, and being drawn to fresh opportunities.
Although neither Sam nor Alex is likely to make it obvious that they are impacted by any weakening of their partner’s attraction to them over time, they cannot help but internalize the feeling that they are not enough. Every time they take that hit, any feeling of compatibility that exists in the relationship also takes a hit.
In this Personality Pair, neither Sam nor Alex is likely to persist in having any particular expectations of their partner. When the curve balls or roadblocks of life pop up in their individual lives or their life as a couple, Sam and Alex are likely to give in to the pressures that come with those challenges.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Physical Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Changemaker Bodyguard.
The Physical Changemaker Bodyguard in Sam’s and Alex’s Triads is one of the most forceful personality types on the Couples Personality Index. It is extremely sensitive to having its power threatened, and welcomes opportunities to exercise control.
The Physical Changemaker often comes across as combative, and tends to show up in defense of the Physical Explorer Core which prefers to avoid the stress of conflict.
The instinctive reaction of Sam’s or Alex’s Physical Explorer Core to their partner’s combative energy is to retreat into a familiar space or activity that feels good to their body.
In this Personality Pair, Sam and Alex are not likely to spend much time in conversation resolving their issues. Instead, they are likely to end the conflict by backing away from each other until tensions subside, and resume the relationship later as if nothing has happened. The more frequently this cycle repeats, the more it strains the relationship, pushing it closer to the breaking point.
If either Sam or Alex feels that their partner has prevented them from having a good time, the default carefree attitude of their Physical Explorer Core can give way to the confrontational and physically intimidating energy of their Physical Changemaker Bodyguard.
Either Sam’s or Alex’s nonchalance is apt to end the clash. Although by all appearances, Sam and Alex may seem to be moving on, the stress of conflict leaves the relationship more worn and frayed every time the cycle repeats.
In this Personality Pair, most disagreements are likely to dissipate quickly. However, if both Physical Changemaker Bodyguards are having a bad day, it can lead to an explosive confrontation.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Physical Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Connector Bodyguard.
Because the Ideas Connector element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads are Bodyguards, and not their Core Personality, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind for either one of them.
But when Sam’s or Alex’s Connector Bodyguard is active, they expect the relationship to support their connection with the life around them. To what extent Sam and Alex expect their relationship to help them feel at home in the world depends on how active their Connector Bodyguards are. A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels compelled to plant roots or take up space in the world.
When active, the Ideas Connector Bodyguard prompts Sam and Alex to depend on the relationship for support of thoughts and feelings they have about their identity in the world. Having the same Connector element means that Sam and Alex can understand one another’s Connector needs. But it also puts those Connector needs in direct competition with one another.
Sam’s and Alex’s Physical Explorer Personalities are not generally interested in thinking or communicating about theoretical ideas. In order for each of them to support the other’s Connector values, their Ideas Connector Bodyguards have to be active. But that can turn into a catch 22 because the more active each of their Ideas Connector Bodyguards, the more their own Connector needs call for attention.
For this Personality Pair, the shared Connector element is a double edged sword. In general, two Physical Explorers are not likely to have what it takes to make a relationship work. However, there may be a very particular balance of Physical Explorer Core and Ideas Connector Bodyguard in Sam’s and Alex’s Triads that allows them to have great chemistry and just enough mutual Connector engagement to make the relationship sustainable. ©
