Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between two people whose Personality Triads have the Physical Changemaker Core. This Triad includes the Physical Explorer and Physical Connector Bodyguards.
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Physical Changemaker Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Bodyguard.
Because neither Sam nor Alex has the Explorer as a Core Personality, both of them are willing to let real life distractions poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship. But having the same Explorer Bodyguard means that when they are focused on each other, their feelings of being in love naturally align.
The Physical Explorer Bodyguard shared by Sam and Alex anchors love in their body. How close this Personality Pair feels during the honeymoon phase depends on how active their Physical Explorer Bodyguards are.
As long as they are both embracing the experience of falling in love, the fact that love means the same thing to both of them makes the honeymoon phase feel perfect. If they do embrace love in this early stage of their relationship, it creates a foundation of closeness they can revisit as the relationship progresses, any time they feel at risk of drifting apart.
If their Physical Explorer Bodyguards are not developed or active, the honeymoon phase of their relationship is likely to feel like an ongoing power struggle, with each of them trying to be the one in charge.
Regardless of what happens throughout the honeymoon phase, once it is over, they are both likely to continue pursuing ways to show their power, in the context of their shared lives and out in the world.
If they grow closer during the honeymoon phase, they are likely to stay emotionally connected. If the honeymoon phase feels underwhelming, the relationship is likely to turn into a battlefield and quickly disintegrate.
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Physical Changemaker Triad which includes a Physical Changemaker Core.
The Physical Changemaker Core shared by Sam and Alex is invested in feeling powerful in the world. If either Sam or Alex is not satisfied with the level of power they feel in their life, they can feel compelled to exercise more power over their partner.
When either of them is not happy with something in the relationship, they may attempt to impose their will by finding a way to blame the other person, and take on the demeanor of a bully.
Although neither Sam nor Alex is likely to make it obvious that they are impacted by any expectations their partner has of them to change what they do naturally, it can be difficult to avoid internalizing the feeling that they are not enough. Every time they take that hit, any feeling of compatibility that exists in the relationship also takes a hit.
This Personality Pair feels like two heavyweight champions trying to get along in the ring. It is a fair fight, but a fight nonetheless.
In order for the relationship to survive, the capacity for impulse control, which comes from their Bodyguards, needs to be present in both of them.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards. So, when the Changemaker IS our Core personality and we are in a relationship, we can’t just ignore aspects of the relationship we wish were different.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Physical Changemaker Triad which includes a Physical Changemaker Core.
Because the Changemaker element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads is their Core Personality, neither one is likely to ignore something that upsets them. The Physical Changemaker Personality shared by Sam and Alex is one of the most forceful personality types on the Couples Personality Index.
Extremely sensitive to having its power threatened, the Physical Changemaker Personality can easily slip into a combative mindset and demeanor, welcoming opportunities to exercise control. Neither Sam nor Alex is likely to ever back down from a fight.
When Sam or Alex fear a loss of power, they become defensive and lash out. When both of them feel threatened at the same time, the tension between them skyrockets.
Any argument that ensues is likely to escalate into an all-out war. The explosive potential of this Personality Pair puts it at risk of crossing the line into violence.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Physical Changemaker Triad which includes a Physical Connector Bodyguard.
Because the Physical Connector element in the Personality Triad shared by Sam and Alex is a Bodyguard, and not the Core Personality, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind for either one of them.
To what extent Sam and Alex expect their relationships to help them feel at home in the world depends on how active their Connector Bodyguards are. As an active Bodyguard, the Connector element can make it a priority to seek relationships that support our connection with everything.
A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels compelled to plant roots or take up space in the world. When active, the Physical Connector Bodyguard prompts Sam and Alex to see their relationship as an important puzzle piece in the tangible reality of a full life.
Any partner behavior that does not reflect loyalty and dependability fractures the relationship puzzle piece that the Physical Connector is trusting to stay whole.
However, the Physical Connector Bodyguard in a Physical Changemaker Triad may not have enough sway over their own Core Personality to hold it to those values. Sam’s and Alex’s Physical Changemaker Triads have their own internal contradiction because the Physical Changemaker Core and Physical Connector Bodyguard have diametrically opposed methods for dealing with life.
The Physical Changemaker Core wants to charge at life until it surrenders. The Physical Connector Bodyguard wants to use established frameworks to build a world where people can make the most of what reality has to offer.
If either of their Physical Connector Bodyguards is active, it is constantly trying to manage the Physical Changemaker Core to prevent it from making a choice that might harm themselves or anyone else.
Both Sam and Alex are likely to resent any demands, whether they come from their own ‘alter ego’ Bodyguard or from a partner. Regardless if Sam’s and Alex’s Physical Connector Bodyguards are active or not, each of them may not even recognize their partner’s Physical Connector needs or simply ignore them.
The Physical Changemaker Triad’s internal power struggle triggers both Sam and Alex into a defensive posture. Their Connector needs zero in on keeping their environment predictable and nonthreatening.
In this Personality Pair, Sam and Alex each expects the relationship to help ‘cover’ them in any situations that may draw the attention of authority or anyone they perceive as the enemy.
Theoretically, if both Sam’s and Alex’s Connector Bodyguards are developed enough to reign in the impulsive temper of their Physical Changemaker Cores, it is possible for this couple to have a symbiotic synergy where they have each other’s backs and share a mutual commitment to the relationship. ©
