Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between a person whose Personality Triad has a Social Explorer Core, and a person whose Personality Triad has a Physical Explorer Core. The Social Explorer Triad includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard and a Physical Connector Bodyguard. The Physical Explorer Triad includes a Physical Changemaker Bodyguard and an Ideas Connector Bodyguard.
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards. So when the Explorer IS our core personality and we are in a relationship, we just want to stay focused on the good feels of being in love. Having to deal with other aspects of the relationship can stress us out and make us want to pull away.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Explorer Triad which includes a Social Explorer Core. And Alex has the Physical Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Core.
Because the Explorer element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads is their Core Personality, they both want to stay fully present in the feeling of romance and connection as long as possible. For Sam, that Explorer element is the Social Explorer, anchoring their love in the mutual choice to share the dance of life with one another. For Alex, that Explorer element is the Physical Explorer, anchoring love in their body.
Ultimately, Sam’s love is strongest when the couple moves through daily life together, sharing the reality of life’s ups and downs. Alex’s love is strongest when they feel a strong physical attraction and chemistry. Over time, experiencing love in different ways can create a disconnect in the relationship, leading Sam and Alex to ‘fall out of love.’
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Explorer Triad which includes a Social Explorer Core. And Alex has the Physical Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Core.
Sam’s Social Explorer Core is naturally gifted at accepting others unconditionally. So it is unlikely that Alex would ever feel pressured by Sam to change any aspect of themselves. Alex’s Physical Explorer Core is deeply connected to their body, and is focused on how their body feels in each moment. They would not put pressure on Sam to change unless Sam was getting in the way of Alex’s body feeling good, which would be unusual.
Ultimately, this Personality Pair has a naturally chill vibe where neither one is likely to pressure the other to change. Both Sam and Alex enjoy socializing and experiencing new relationships. The most likely cause of any potential breakdown in their sense of compatibility would be that one or both feels abandoned because their partner is vibing with someone outside of the relationship.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Explorer Triad which includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard. And Alex has the Physical Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Changemaker bodyguard.
The Social Changemaker in Sam’s Triad is a Bodyguard. Therefore, it is influenced by the Social Explorer Core Personality which tends to avoid confrontation, overriding the desire to ask for anything that would cause tension in the relationship.
Although the Physical Changemaker in Alex’s Triad is also a Bodyguard, it is one of the most forceful personality types on the Couples Personality Index, which makes it more likely to assert itself, especially when it feels triggered. When Alex is not happy with something in the relationship, their Physical Changemaker Bodyguard might, intentionally or unintentionally, project physically intimidating body language.
For this Personality Pair, the risk of Alex reacting defensively to a trigger may always be there. When active, the Physical Changemaker Bodyguard in Alex’s Triad has a natural intensity that can easily overshadow Sam’s easy-going temperament. Any confrontation is more likely to be initiated by Alex than by Sam. This couple must be careful to not let the relationship become one-sided where Alex’s behavior is unpredictably overbearing or aggressive, and Sam feels they have no choice but to give in.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Connector Bodyguard. And Alex has the Physical Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Connector bodyguard.
Sam and Alex approach fitting into the world very differently because the Connector elements in their Triads are different. Although they are both Bodyguards, the Connector element in Sam’s Social Explorer Triad is the Physical Connector; whereas the Connector element in Alex’s Physical Explorer Triad is the Ideas Connector.
Because the Connector elements in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads are Bodyguards, and not their Core Personalities, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind for either one of them.
To what extent Sam and Alex expect their relationships to help them feel at home in the world depends on how active their Connector Bodyguards are. As an active Bodyguard, the Connector element can make it a priority to seek relationships that support our connection with everything. A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels under pressure to plant roots or take up space in the world.
When Sam’s Physical Connector Bodyguard is active, they see their relationship as an important puzzle piece in the tangible reality of a full life. Any partner behavior that does not reflect loyalty and dependability fractures the relationship puzzle piece that Sam is trusting to stay whole.
Although Alex’s Physical Explorer Personality wants everyone to feel good, Alex can tend to focus on themselves before focusing on others. That tendency can lead Alex to make choices that do not fit what Sam’s Physical Connector Bodyguard considers decent and respectable.
When Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard is active, Alex looks to the relationship for support of the thoughts and feelings they have about their identity in the world. And Sam’s Social Explorer Personality is eager to support Alex in any way they can.
Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard does not directly impact how Sam and Alex feel about each other. However, the more active Sam’s Physical Connector Bodyguard is, the more disappointed they are likely to feel in the relationship. In this Personality Pair, the relationship is more likely to meet Alex’s Connector needs than Sam’s. ©
