Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.

 

This page takes a closer look at the relationship between two people whose Personality Triads have the Ideas Connector Core. This Triad includes the Ideas Changemaker and Physical Explorer Bodyguards.

 

For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.

 

 

Falling in love

We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards.

 

In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Connector Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Bodyguard.

 

Because neither Sam nor Alex has the Explorer as a Core Personality, both of them are willing to let distracting thoughts poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship.

 

How close they feel during the honeymoon phase depends on how active their Ideas Explorer Bodyguards are. The Physical Explorer Bodyguard in each of their Personality Triads anchors love in their body. Both Sam’s and Alex’s love is strongest when they feel a strong physical attraction and chemistry.

 

The fact that love means the same thing to both of them can make the honeymoon phase feel perfect as long as they are both embracing the experience of falling in love. If they do embrace love in this early stage of their relationship, it creates a foundation of closeness they can revisit as the relationship progresses, any time they feel at risk of drifting apart.

 

If their Physical Explorer Bodyguards are not developed or active, the honeymoon phase of their relationship is likely to fall flat, with each of them distracted in every direction away from each other.

 

Regardless of what happens throughout the honeymoon phase, once it is over, they are each likely to direct their energies back out into the world where there is always plenty to keep them busy.

 

Compatibility

Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.

 

In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Connector Triad which includes an Ideas Connector Core.

 

Sam’s and Alex’s Ideas Connector Core Personalities have an aversion to limiting themselves or anyone else to a single way of doing things. Sam and Alex prioritize never being bored or stuck in a mental rut. So they are unlikely to commit themselves to a particular permanent change or to persist in wanting or expecting their partner to do that for them. Sam or Alex might make a spur-of-the-moment request. But if their partner hesitates, they are likely to simply move on.

 

But both Sam and Alex do expect their partner to appreciate the exciting rush of creative ideas they are always offering up to the relationship. Although they are each apt to have some interest in their partner’s ideas, neither one is likely to stay focused on their partner or their ideas for more than a few moments at a time.

 

Although neither Sam nor Alex is likely to make it obvious that they are impacted by any pause in enthusiasm about their own boundless ideas, they cannot help but internalize the feeling that they are perceived as too much, which feels like a variation of not enough. Every time they take that hit, any feeling of compatibility that exists in the relationship also takes a hit.

 

Both Sam and Alex are likely to think the other person is cool, but stressful to be around. Each of their Ideas Connector Personalities needs their partner to help keep them grounded, not add fuel to the fire of their own frenetic energy. So although Sam and Alex would not technically expect one another to change, this Personality Pair is not likely to get together, and is even less likely to stay together.

 

Conflict

Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards.

 

In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Connector Triad which includes an Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard.

 

Of all three Changemaker Personality Types on the Couples Personality Index, the Ideas Changemaker is one of the most forceful and argumentative personality types.

 

Both Sam and Alex are most likely to feel emotionally triggered when they sense that something they consider important is being ignored or dismissed.

 

The flood of thoughts and feelings that are triggered in their Ideas Connector Core are likely to elicit an argumentative attitude from the Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard. This Bodyguard is eager to assert itself in defense of the Ideas Connector Core which is more inclined toward peacemaking and hesitant to take a stand.

 

For this Personality Pair, conflicts are haphazard but intense. This couple cycles rapidly through accusations and subsequent regrets on both sides. Although Sam and Alex do not stay mad at each other for long, they do not stay content for long either. Ultimately, a relationship between two Ideas Connectors is simply not sustainable.

 

Fitting into the World

The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.

 

In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Connector Triad which includes an Ideas Connector Core.

 

Because the Ideas Connector in the Triad shared by Sam and Alex is their Core Personality, it is very important to them that the relationship acts as a bridge between who they are and how the world perceives them.

 

Sam’s and Alex’s Ideas Connector Personalities depend on the relationship for support of thoughts and feelings they have about their identity in the world. Having the same Connector element means that Sam and Alex can understand one another. But it also sets up all of the couple’s Connector needs to push each other out of the way in the process of vying for the relationship’s attention.

 

The most obvious challenge with having two Ideas Connector in a relationship is that neither one is likely to hold back their own thoughts and feelings long enough for the other person to feel heard. The Ideas Connector’s inherently unfiltered thought process is likely to feel exhausting and cause frustration on both sides.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam and Alex share parallel perspectives on the Connector role that their relationship plays in their lives. However, for this couple, having the same needs is more likely to bring chaos than peace. ©