Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between two people whose Personality Triads have the Ideas Explorer Core. This Triad includes the Social Connector and Ideas Changemaker Bodyguards.
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards. So when the Explorer IS our core personality and we are in a relationship, we just want to stay focused on the good feels of being in love. Having to deal with other aspects of the relationship can stress us out and make us want to pull away.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Core.
Having the Ideas Explorer as their Core Personalities prompts both Sam and Alex to want to stay fully present in the feeling of romance and connection as long as possible. For both Sam and Alex, love is anchored in the anticipation of having their deepest feelings heard and supported.
The Ideas Explorer Personality is one of the most emotionally intense personality types on the Couples Personality Index. Sharing the Ideas Explorer Core Personality is likely to set the stage for a very intense relationship dynamic where both Sam and Alex often feel compelled to express their deepest feelings with intense emotion.
Although their feelings of being in love are intensified by the fact that love means the same thing to both of them, Sam and Alex may find themselves each vying to be the focus of the emotional drama in the relationship.
This Personality Pair may feel that their similarities add an emotional competition factor that offsets the benefits of speaking the same emotional language.
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Core.
The Ideas Explorer Core shared by Sam and Alex prides itself on accepting and supporting their partner’s deepest feelings. But they might judge their partner for not wanting to stay immersed in those deep feelings, and expect them to work on changing themselves. Sharing the Ideas Explorer Core means that they both prioritize their own deepest feelings and those of their partner, and want their partner to do the same.
If Sam and Alex have different expectations around what emotional intimacy and vulnerability look like, they may expect their partner to change. Neither one is likely to let their partner’s point of view override their intuitive feelings.
Neither Sam nor Alex is likely to make it obvious that they are impacted by their partner’s desire for them to be different than they are. But they cannot help but internalize the feeling that they are not enough. Every time they take that hit, any feeling of compatibility that exists in the relationship also takes a hit.
The natural sense of compatibility that results from having the same emotional values lays the foundation for a profound love. However, it may be difficult to prioritize both sets of feelings at any given time.
So either one or both of them may begin to feel that their partner is trying to monopolize the couple’s emotional bandwidth, and is not interested enough in their emotional truth.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard.
Of all three Changemaker Personality Types on the Couples Personality Index, the Ideas Changemaker is one of the most forceful and argumentative personality types.
Both Sam and Alex are most likely to feel emotionally triggered when they sense that something they consider important is being ignored or dismissed. The emotions that are triggered in their Ideas Explorer Core are likely to elicit an argumentative reaction from the Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard. This Bodyguard is eager to assert itself in defense of the Ideas Explorer Core which is naturally more sensitive and introverted.
For this Personality Pair, conflicts are heartfelt and intense. This couple loves hard and fights hard. Whether or not this Personality Pair stays together in the long run depends on whether the scales of their relationship tip more in the direction of profound mutual empathy or emotional tug of war.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes a Social Connector Bodyguard.
Because the Social Connector element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads are Bodyguards, and not their Core Personality, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind for either one of them.
But when Sam’s or Alex’s Connector Bodyguard is active, they expect the relationship to support their connection with the life around them. To what extent Sam and Alex expect their relationship to help them feel at home in the world depends on how active their Connector Bodyguard is. A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels compelled to plant roots or take up space in the world.
As a Core Personality or an active Bodyguard, the Social Connector element wants the relationship to support the social image and status side of their identity.
Because the Ideas Explorer Core Personality shared by Sam and Alex is naturally introverted, their Connector needs are likely to focus on specific circumstances or environments. For example, either or both of them may want the relationship to support the social image and status side of their identity as a creator in the art world.
Each one’s ability to support their partner’s Connector needs depends on how active and developed their own Connector Bodyguard is. As long as their Connector Bodyguards are at comparable levels of activity and development, this Personality Pair’s Connector dynamic is likely to work for both of them. ©
