Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between two people whose Personality Triads have the Social Explorer Core. This Triad includes the Social Explorer Core, and Social Changemaker and Physical Connector Bodyguards.
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards. So when the Explorer IS our core personality and we are in a relationship, we just want to stay focused on the good feels of being in love. Having to deal with other aspects of the relationship can stress us out and make us want to pull away.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Explorer Triad, which includes a Social Explorer Core.
Because Sam and Alex both have the Social Explorer Core Personality, they generally want the same thing, which is to stay absorbed in each other and the feeling of being in love. The honeymoon phase of their relationship feels perfect, as they grow closer every day.
Once the honeymoon phase is over, having to deal with the stresses of real life is likely to create tension in the relationship. And because Social Explorers are generally more comfortable following than leading, each one might be looking at the other to jumpstart next steps in their relationship and in life.
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Explorer Triad which includes a Social Explorer Core.
Like all Social Explorers, Sam and Alex are naturally gifted at accepting others unconditionally. Neither Sam nor Alex intentionally put pressure on the other to change in any way.
However, while each one waits for the other to initiate moving forward as a couple, one or both may feel that they are expected to take on a role that does not come naturally to them. Over time, this could make them wonder if they really are as compatible as they thought they were.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Explorer Triad, which includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard.
Of the three Changemaker personality types on the Couples Personality Index, the Social Changemaker is the most naturally compassionate and concerned with the needs of others. If either Sam or Alex is not happy, their Social Changemaker Bodyguard tends to have the outlook that giving is the best way to make things better.
As two naturally thoughtful and considerate people, Sam and Alex are always careful to communicate with kindness and respect. It is possible, however, that the spark will fade if they continue being ‘too nice’ to each other at the expense of being completely honest about something that does really bother them.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.
In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Social Explorer Triad, which includes a Physical Connector Bodyguard.
Because the Physical Connector element in the Personality Triad shared by Sam and Alex is a Bodyguard, and not the Core Personality, the question of how the relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind for either one of them.
To what extent Sam and Alex expect their relationships to help them feel at home in the world depends on how active their Connector Bodyguards are. As an active Bodyguard, the Connector element can make it a priority to seek relationships that support our connection with everything.
A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels compelled to plant roots or take up space in the world. When active, the Physical Connector Bodyguard prompts Sam and Alex to see their relationship as an important puzzle piece in the tangible reality of a full life.
Any partner behavior that does not reflect loyalty and dependability fractures the relationship puzzle piece that the Physical Connector is trusting to stay whole.
In this Personality Pair, Sam and Alex share parallel perspectives on the Connector role that their relationship plays in their lives. They both prioritize treating others with courtesy and respect. This is one more way that their values align, reinforcing how well they get along.
However, their chances of having a sustainable romantic spark vs a caring friendship are greater if one of them has a more active Physical Connector Bodyguard than the other. Sexual tension has more potential to develop between the Social Explorer that wants to follow and the Physical Connector that feels good about taking the lead. ©
